Broken at Best ~

Jaded and faded, tainted and torn…

Worn and weary, disgustedly dismayed… 1 could not walk a mile in the shoes that I’ve worn….

I have been captured by a conjuring cave….

They stare with amaze, gazing at me in haze, writing horrible jokes, in the concrete I pave…

I smile and I wave, I behave to each beat….

My secrets been leaked, I’m exposed as if weak.. .

Still in defeat, somehow I rise to my feet.. .

Battered and beaten, beneath stress and strife, sailing the seas of corruption and chaos, crippling my living in life. . .

The sourness of strife, strips me down the bone, I am alone…. My rights have been wronged…

Such sad are these songs, I long and hunt a home. . Seems my fate is faulty, my hanging head is so weary… I just need rest…

What a tainted test, the ♍ virgo on my vest, well she’s a monopolized mess…. She lyes here haunted…..

SHES ~ BROKEN AT BEST***

R U ANY GOOD?**

I’ve waited………

Twisting time’s trajectory. … Distilled and debated … Drastically diluted, dripping and dropping, dial tones…. DEAD. ..

Democracy and demons, scheming letters of scarlet…. Sounding off smites of sovereign solitude. … I smuggled it sideways…..

Not in a bag or a case…… I covered it in blood, then buried it in mud…. I hid it right under MAGNOLIA INC’S face….

Yes please visit my place…. so sorry I didn’t tidy up…. u know I would have,,, if I had known u were coming… I’ve been out running, forgive me… how cunning….

Wait… Would you like some water??? I too believe you are stunning… Oh but I really, really do child!!!💋✌️💪🏼 Ok, are u good now? Shall we continue?? Let’s proceed and move on***

A demolishing draft dwells deep, drifting about, INDIFFERENT!!! I stand at command, saluting the man, demanding my distance…. For the word friend, is so over rated…… keep turning the pages!;!

All the twists and the turns … I’m engaged as diluted and spaded…..

At last I have made it…..

Below the wreckage, there is no treasure, no gold, no jewels to claim… Blame the sane… Those who reek havoc from societies gain…

U know not such pain….

mischievously misguided, trying so hard to hide it ,yet remaining in a balance of being misunderstood….. starving for some stardom, of rewarded harlon….

So tell me~HEY U THERE!!!!

R U ANY GOOD?¿

Here I am***

Vigorous visions of tantelizing vitality, verses the very snarls and slumbers of death,

I may hed west, on a quest for some breath… Clearly that is literally all that I have left….

Acceptance not required…nor is it desired…. POETRY 4 hire…

Through the fire… it’s been aquired…

Liars and theifs, I see this is where we meet… keep it simple sweetie, please partake in having several seats…

Has anyone seen my keys?

Does the old dog that bit u still have flees? Huh… R was it rabies? I’m just asking…

Geesh, don’t take it personally…

We are all here creating!!! A collision of minds… is that not the point???

Oh wait… I forget, your much better…

Still wearing sweaters.. when you sneak to smoke joints……………..

A more valid point I can lend you.. . Is that we are all here for the show…. Please don’t mind me, for out of the BLOOD MUD…

I grow….

I bat last… to you that would be what coach used to call a grand slam… so kick the dust off your cleats, readjust your ballcap…

I am jewels of a Magnolia💎🌸🌸🌸

Growing out of blood mud…. hello.,.

HERE I AM!!!

Lucid dreaming

I patiently await the brink of the most engaging sunrise, where the lies of yesterday can not touch, twinkling, golden rays I shall touch, inspired with renewal, it is there I WILL RISE…. My adversary dies, at the end of every story, at the end of each chapter, at the end of each book…. With just one look I’m acknowledged as took, So in the most radiant of atmosphere’s… My arsenic nature they always let off the hook… I blink three times, give myself a pinch just to make sure that I am awake, while morphing through wormholes, in the 5th demension, is where I’m most likely going to stay…. Delicate deliverance, eccentric delectable, are the items that you may find in my purse… Delinquent illusions, demented confusion, either in blessings or in a curse… It’s worst… To be the bag lady, because she’s gonna hurt her back, she’s got too much stuff to be dragging all those bags like that… There I sat… Dilegently embracing what fate had in store, demolishing more, I despise all that tries to codify my core, complicated conversions keep replicating in four… A morbid morality, floating at a distance, straight into the sun…. If you can see the three, maybe then you can know me, then u finally get to meet and go back to the one…

Have they took and monopolized my mind, maybe rooted me through a moonbeam, navigated such nemesis, had they invited me with overture, I never negotiate numerology, I participate not in the affairs at hand, my reflection is luminary, how can this be? Ancient aliens have abducted me.. Lucid dreaming…

New Day

Beautiful weeping willow tell me why do I witness you fading so far away? There was a time when I can remember nothing of you, as I swam by the docks in the bay…today is ok…. Please come out and play, please help me remember why you just went astray…. Children’s games must be amuzing, I notice that their all that you play, you don’t sway like you used to when the clouds turn to grey… How could I obey such an order to slay, so misconstrued there written in clay….. What a balance to our nevermore, I suppose it’s of the sweet sorrows… Such a high price to pay.. until we should meet again one day, please don’t remain in such delay.. here, now let me move out your way, the sun now needs back it’s Ray….

For it’s a NEW DAY

Testimonials of why Magnolia Inc 🌸

With two suck kids laying in bed with me, I decided it’s time to speak up. Lay it all on the line with my truth since I have decided to go public with this blog. Tonight I will share some of my deepest secrets and invite you into my world of Magnolia Inc 🌸, creating this new movement and how it all came about so abruptly. My name .s Jaron Devoltz and I am a southern girl🌸I am proud of my Creole, Cajun, Frenchman, country heritage and I am planted deep in the bottom of Louisiana. 10 miles away from the waterways of intercoastal city, where I grew up. The only real safe place I’ve ever resided. My grandparents house who practically raised me .Their home was my home, those two were the best of the best and I assure you that they surely don’t make them like that anymore! After their home was engulfed by 11 feet of water for hurricane Rita, I haven’t found another home until now! Now is my time to speak up, get out there, be heard and stop creating behind closed doors. Only living in a shell with only me to see! I’m ready to take on the world now, after finally being secure in the reflection staring back at me in the mirror. It’s taken me 39 years to blossom into this MAGNOLIA GROWING OUT OF BLOOD MUD 🌸 🌸💪🏼. I’M TAKING A STAND NOW FROM THIS DAY FORTH, I WILL PREVAIL IN EVERYTHING I TOUCH, CAPTURE, CREATE, RELEASE, AND MAKE A MARK ON***. My calling is to HELP like a simple Shepard leading the herd~ I just want to be a light, from now on, until my demise! I have crawled out of the darkest, deepest hole… climbing tooth and nail to stand here today and do what I’m doing! I realize now my past was only building me up for my future… God is so real, so awesome and so good u guys! His love is my only astounding definition of Love! I finally found a real love! Yes I finally know what true love means! I’m overwhelmed y’all*I’m blown back in awe @ times because I know I’m unworthy yet He carried me anyway! He made beauty from ashes! He made my dry bones come alive! I’ve been set free!!! I’VE BEEN RESTORED AND REDEEMED, HALLELUJAH. THANK YOU FATHER^^^. Victory is mine now and I stand firm on His promises for I know the battle has already been won, it was already written!!! I am a walking testimony, so now is the time to finally share and reach out to others who may have seen the same struggles. It’s time for me to reach the souls that I bear witness to, so much brokeness, uncertainty, confusion, lack of self love, and mainly just lack of knowledge! I can now be the change that I truly seek out to be.

These days I only seek peace and pursue it. I no longer seek validation from any human being on this Earth. The people I may encounter on my journey will only love me or hate me, for I have never been anything slightly close to mediocre! I’ve always been different, and although I was led astray by violence and addiction, I still withheld a certain leadership quality that I’m tired of pretending doesn’t exist. I had to go through it, to get through it, in order to speak about it truthfully and openly. I have to raise awareness to the true problems that I face daily in my community and my home! I have to shed light! I will no longer go quietly into the night! I will no longer be stagnant as God has promised me to help thy neighbor and He will do the rest. So HERE I AM! No Saint, no profit, just a sinner… A soul that’s been saved from despair and tribulation. A temperal vessel wanting to be of help to those in the most need. The truth is that I use to be scared of myself, my thoughts were engulfed by lies from the enemy. He had such a stronghold on me that the chains were too heavy to break. Until God showed up and showed out! I tell you what brothers and sisters in the name of Jesus Christ 🙏 we are saved! Forgiven, set free, born again and the renewal of our fate is simply LOVE… STRAIGHT LIKE THAT~GOD IS LOVE~There is power in the blood of Jesus, I encourage you to plead it thoroughly over your life, your family, your friends and your home!

So embarking on this new journey I’ve taken a little action that I see as slight achievments. They are minor for now but hey, NO PROGRESSION HAS EVER PREVAILED WITHOUT MOVEMENT!!;***^^^√√√••• That is why I am calling Magnolia Inc the beginning of a new movement~… This is my season to blossom into my truest SELF, I am attacking all lies and deciet fearlessly, fearlessly! I am in motion and I am not stopping***))). I will push through because I am equipped for any storm. In this new era I will utilize my skills and use my experiences more effectively. I will rise like the Phoenix who arose from the concrete.. the rose that grew from the concrete. The warrior goddess of the new centuries…. For I must have been here before chosing to come to battle because I love war. Unfortunately I love to fight . Don’t judge me because it literally use to be my specialty in my younger days. Before these medical conditions had gotten the best of me.

Im now a insulin dependant diabetic.. I take 4 shots a day and it’s been a real rollercoaster dealing with so many health issues. My only conclusion is that it all stems from not taking care of myself in my youth. Drinking and drugging. My party days, but oh did I experience some really good times!! I sometimes miss those days but when I look at the smiles of my children, I wouldn’t go back** I’m so glad that I got it out my system before I became a mother because when I see the way some of these women still act in their 30’s and 40’s… It just breaks my heart. I’m no judge, no judgement at all… My heart just hurts for then and especially for their children. Our future lyes in the hands of these children. Why are so many still so broken and lost!? They are being derailed by circumstances beyond their control the same way that I was. That’s is why I have begun my street Ministry walking and just fellowshipping with strangers. Some nights I may talk to 20 or 30 people… Other nights I only talk to maybe 3 to 5 but I feel a sense of accomplishment after I complete my nights of street ministry. It feels good to be a light for the KINGDOM 💪 of GOD… I’m just a nobody trying to tell everybody about the love of God OUR FATHER AND HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON JESUS CHRIST! Hey….. The other day I was called a holy roly, then called out of my name by a 14 year old runaway, prostitute, heroin attict, mother of two… Flip flops on in 30°degree weather with a halter top and booty shorts…. The way this child spoke to me and came at me was unacceptable yet being rather new to this movement I had to really evaluate my situation. I needed her to want me to help her so I had to use the proper tactics to advance her mindset into truly seeking the doorways she needed to be opened. It was a rough one, but progression took place, and success lyes ahead in her future. She wanted treatment, she was tired!!! Shid…. I was tired for her…. Pour babygirl, but you know what, she’s going to be just fine… People ask me why do I hand out clean needles and contreseptives. … I’m getting bashed for that probably as we speak, yet they don’t see with the same eyes that I do. They don’t have the same heart or spirit! They are not my final judge and they will not be held accountable for any of my transgressions so no validation is needed.. not from ANYONE*** We all are entitled to our own opinions. But there is no law in order, nor factual evidence in the argument of opinions… Right…

Well I do it because both of my younger sisters used to shoot up and now they both have hepatitis c. I have many friends who have been exposed to HIV due to intravenous drug usage. So hey just let me do me! We all have to carry our own cross.

After that night with my 14 year old new friend, I had to do more .. so when I returned home that evening I decided to brainstorm some way of helping more than physical. I needed help to help these kids, also parents and grandparents. Guys there are so many atticts in my surrounding communities that action must be taken quick*** politicians, law enforcement and thoroughbred, outstanding citizen clubs are laying a blind eye to the severity of the darkest problems in our homefront. Why?? Why isn’t someone helping! I can’t answer that question tonight but I do know that I can help in some ways. So I started a charity organization on Facebook called Magnolia Inc 🌸 I would like to put an LLC on it but I have no means at this time to do so. I have some really major league business plans for this Organization. I stand firm in everything that I believe in. I still have faith in humanity 💗 I know that people can change because I am here as living proof. I will be the change that I truly want to see*** This is going to happen so I founded the charity org… I decided to create a new account here, since I only learned about this site a month ago.. LMAO, but I’m a writer and poet huh??? Hahaha, boy, boy, boy……. I tell you what….. If I wasn’t so computer illiterate, non tech savvy, and scared of technology, I would probably be published in real life right now. Probably 10 times over. I just want to write… I want to be published for my kids to be proud of me and to leave them a little something behind when I go. That’s all…. After my car was stolen with my life’s work in the trunk, I almost became bitter towards my journals and poetry. I didn’t want to think about recreating the autobiography of this life of mine. Going back and revisiting some of those memories isn’t that easy. I struggle sometimes but hey we have all been through some type of hell, right? I’m going to re-create my books! I will be published by the time I’m 42… Most definitely, maybe sooner if the right person visits me here at Magnolia Inc 🌸*** So yes im here now beginning my POETRY blog from scratch so bare with me… I believe that I will start blogging daily, I usually just journal in a few different books . Have yet to start a new regiment after the discouragement of my loss … Dang. That was a hard lick you guys … Truly a hard pill to swallow….

Well not only do I participate in street ministry, I have recently began prison ministry as well. There too I have began to help women with second phase housing assistance. A way to get out of incarceration and start over with the proper tools needed to be successful and productive citizens. Reclaiming their roles back in society. Why help??? Because I was once them. I was locked up since the age of 11 in group homes, detention homes and then the big house of LTI where I remained until I was 18 years old. I was moved all around the state of LOUISIANA… A young girl who didn’t know her worth .. can u see me… Well she doesn’t live here anymore…. She’s moved on. .. I was a drug pusher and drug user…. alcoholic and abuser, manipulater and narccisist, a dark broken down soul with a wicked agenda…. This is why I can’t sit still any longer**** God has a plan for my future and I know it begins with Magnolia Inc 🌸 I can’t explain it, but it’s right there deep inside my gut*

Unfortunately my doctors took me out of work about 2 1/2 years ago… So now I receive disability. This is not where I am supposed to be at this age. I mean I am supposed to be established like the rest of my friends… Still and all I stand here humbly in acceptance of the journey laid out before me. I have wide shoulders so I must have been meant to carry a heavy yoke… No worries, I was beautifully orchestrated to do great works in many Nations! I HAVE BEEN CHOSEN AS A DAUFHTER OF THE MOST HIGH 💪🏼,√√√GLORY

I’m doing charity work on a fixed income and expenses for progress are dim… But I’m not giving up so easily. I went to my closets for jackets, pants and shoes for some women. Also I shop at thrift stores for items that know are dier neccesaties. I swallowed my pride and asked for donations on Facebook. I’ve created Facebook fundraising yet no advancement has yet to be seen. I will continue to reach out, they say closed mouths won’t get fed, but guess what. . . I’m starving!!! Me J.P.D. This is my short story of why Magnolia Inc 🌸 I will help save souls because God wants His people back! Feel free to join me on Facebook at Magnolia Inc 🌸 or you can find me on probably any other social networking site. If you are equipped in any way to be a light . …. Come and join my movements ✨💗🛡️🗡️🗝️💎 if you have read my story all the way through, God bless you and thank you for stopping by 👌

PUSH THROUGH ✨🗡️🛡️🗝️

It feels as if my eyes are wide shut, while I box my demons daily, because defeat is not an option, I refuse to live on a maybe….. The enemy must flee, & get under the structure of my home, my legacy will live on, in my scrolls and my psalms…. At times I just feel so alone, as if all I know is war, I try to take it one second at a time, I’ve resided to having a smoke session in my car… By far am I surrendering, to the snares of this pain, chest out.. head up… I assure you will remember my name… My only gain is the inheritance, of the joy from my kids, if they are happy, that’s all that matters, I shall push through harder to live … I bid high when I gamble, my poker face stays on, I just need a few seconds to breath, so I create to release while publishing my songs … How did I get back here, I’ve already escaped by tooth and nail, I’ve climbed out of this whole, I sought out victory and prevailed…. I must shake the wickedness of these trials, I seek only peace to pursue, how could you even muster such sympathy, when it’s not happening to you….. I must PUSH THROUGH 🗡️🛡️🗝️✨